From Bad To Worst

So its pretty much decided that I have to take this upcoming semester off.
I'm trying not to think about it and stay positive, but that's a big deal.
Long story short, I don't have enough $$ to pay for this semester.
No scholarships, and basically supporting myself so it is what it is.
It's my fault for not really applying for scholarships and waiting till the last minute. I have searched for scholarships but most of them that I find, I don't qualify for. It makes me mad, because my balance was such a petty amount. All I can do is learn from this set-back and try to avoid for the future. The plan is basically for me to, work my ass off and either pay out of pocket or hopefully I'll earn a scholarship for spring. I've been on my shit lately, I called UNCF and found out about scholarships, Salliemae, and I'm going to call one of my family members who used to run the financial aid department for Morehouse to get advice and hopefully a few connects.
Another headache has been that my mom wants me to change my major, and look at cheaper schools. We all know how expensive Clark is, is it worth it..nah? but it's what you make of it. The way I see it, if you haven't experienced college at a HBCU let alone CAU, then you don't understand. That's really my main concern, while I have my dislikes about CAU, I couldn't picture myself being anywhere else. I'm still going to apply to other schools just in case and as a back up.

Do your parents support your goals and decisions you've made in life or plan to make?

Enough about that sob story.
It's mos def about to be 4am, so that only leaves one thing, sleep!

Looking Back At It Now

pictures from the past; 2007

I was once a teenager, searching for my true self.
..and had a camera to capture it all.
Boredom came over me today, and I decided to dust off my photobucket.
One word; wow.
I know I'm not the only one who looks back at photos or things they did when they first encountered this thing called the internet.
My style, the things I used to say, the screen names, typing Liike ThiiS!! .
It's all just a blur that I want to leave in the past.
It did make me miss how long my hair used to be before I was told it
was damaged and needed to be cut. My mom is trying to convince me to cut it as I type and as much as I would love something new and different, I just can't picture being bald. I mean my hair isn't mad long or anything, but I've always had a good grade of thick lovely hair and its just starting to grow back now so why would I cut it?

I'm done Stressing; for now

Things are getting better! Surprisingly I'm not as stressed as I would normally be. Yes when everything first started to go wrong, I was a reck. However I've realized that the more I stress the longer it will take for things to start going my way. A lot of things are still up in the air, but I can only take it one day at a time, and hopefully what ever happens will be something positive.

As far as school; I just did the Parent Plus Loan and got denied which makes me eligible for the full subsidize/unsubsidized loan amount. I'm still unsure of that amount, I keep reading between $4,000-and $10,500.
Either way whatever it is, it should bring my balance to $0, and that's really all that matters.
Or hopefully a negative balance because lord knows I could use a refund!
Enrollment deadline is the first week of August, so no time for bullshit. Depending on the amount, I'll probably have to stay with my Uncle until I get a job to pay my own rent, hopefully no later than November.
It's a lot more to it, but that's pretty much the basics.

The lady from the job, FINALLY called me. I got the job, however she's going on vacation next week and she won't be able to call me to complete the hiring process until the first week of August. Which then leaves me about two weeks, for background checks, paperwork and training. Which leaves me NO time to work, because if all goes well I plan to be on the first thing smoking to atl on the 21st. As desperate as I am for money and other things that I need and want I thought of taking a semester off and staying home to work and save and return to atlanta come January. Crazy? She's still going to call me when she returns and I'll give her my final decision..so we'll see.

uumm what else, I scheduled a appointment for my road test.
Might have to reschedule because I can't find my permit. For some reason I think I threw it away; FML! I meant to throw away my temp i.d which looks the same as the paper permit.
I'm supposed to pay a deposit by tomorrow to hold my spot, but I can't get another permit until Monday so yeah thats another we'll see.

This is looong, and my eyes are getting heavy. It's Friday and I'll probably be sleep by 1am, some summer ehh.

Stressed To The Max

Shit has been sooo stressful;

- my grandmother is in the hospital
- ^ which leads me to taking care of my great-grandmother.
-My great- grandmother who co-signed for my loan last yr for school got denied due to another family member taking her information and getting a car in her name.
- No one else in my family has good/decent credit!
-^ which leads me to stress about how I'm going to fund the rest of my fall semester, INCLUDING housing!
- I had my 1st&2nd interviews with this store, and no call back!
-My mom is on bed rest till the baby comes.
- I'll be able to take my road test this Friday, however due to everything else going on I have yet to sit down and schedule my appointment.
I just want to scream, pull my hair out, and lock myself in my room.
Sadly that would probably cause more stress because nothing would get done.
I'm rushing with this update, because I have to get back to my great grandmothers.
I come home about twice through out the day, to lay in MY bed, and use my laptop.

that's about it, hopefully everything works out and the next update will be filled with good news!